In Memoriam

Northfield has been built, developed and nourished by many dedicated volunteers into the beautiful community that we experience today.
In loving memory of those who have passed before us, we offer this opportunity to get to know these dedicated members.
To them, we offer this song by our beloved Steve Schuch.

Anne Benenson

Anne began coming to the conference in 1990. Her daughter, Mary Koopman, had been invited to the conference – the theme was “Family,” so it seemed natural that Anne should come along with Mary and her daughter, Abbey Pierson. From that time, on Anne came every June for 13 years. When she later met and married Tom Benenson, he joined the yearly family excursion to Northfield. Northfield was a very special place for Anne – the different opportunities provided a place where she felt held and loved and seen, the opportunities for in-depth conversations on topics she may not encounter elsewhere were greatly appreciated. She loved “Families” and engaged in the conference wholeheartedly, doing as much as she was able as she aged. The last year she attended Northfield was 2012. That was the year her great-grandson, Eli, was born in June, and new grandma Mary could not leave to visit and drive Anne up to the conference. So Anne made arrangements with her granddaughter, Allison, to come with her so she could be here. Anne died on Christmas day, 2013. In her myriad of files were found every Northfield brochure, name lists, and letters from those she corresponded with from the conference. Anne felt blessed to be a part of the Northfield family, and we were blessed by her presence.

(Anne is pictured above on the right with her daughter Mary and great-nephew Greg)

George Blackman

George was a “force of nature” at Northfield from the moment he began coming to the Conference in 1967 until his death in 2010. When he first arrived, the Conference was still a Christian conference for high school girls, and he came as one of the visiting Episcopalian priests who presented lectures. In 1971, he, with his wife, Maeve, was critical in shifting the Northern Area Committee (our “Northfield”) into a family conference, changing its format forever. He was instrumental in having all spiritualities celebrated and, with Emily Mitchell, bringing Family Sculpture into our tradition of personal growth. A dedicated, fun-loving, dramatic, and beloved member of our community, he served on the Executive Committee and the Northfield League, serving as the first male chair of the League. He and Maeve, and their 4 sons, brought friends and acquaintances to Northfield over many years, truly expanding the Conference into the community we love today. (For more information on George, please read Our History!)

(George is pictured above with his wife Maeve to his right and long-time friend Mickey to his left)

Micki Esselstyn

Click here for the website that Micki’s son Blake created while she was dying which has links to her songs as well as posts from 1999 and beyond that detail parts of Micki’s life, her journey with brain cancer, and her death.

Mike Friedman

Mike’s wife of 57 years, Mickey (pictured above to his right), shares the following:

“When I think about Mike and Northfield, I am drawn back to the early ’70’s when he first attended and found the experience formidable, and then forward to the 90’s, when the Conference had long become a cherished event in his life. Mike participated in 34 conferences in a row (remember when he played the “ancient relic” in the Talent Show?) and having two of our children and four of our grandchildren become faithful Northfielders was very special to us both. In his consistently quiet way, he was a loyal, contributing member of the community, and often a legal resource during our Community and Annual Meetings. For me, it was particularly valuable to have someone to share the week, both during and after the conference was over.” Mike left us in 2006 and we continue to miss his quiet and steady presence.

Graceanna Hawley

I knew Graceanna for many years as she was well ensconced as Registrar when I first arrived in 1985. Until he died, she came with her husband Phil who as I recall liked to play golf!

In the days before computers, Graceanna’s job was not easy as she wrote everything in pencil and then had the list copied at the stationery store. In 1994, I offered to take her handwritten lists and put them in alphabetical order on my computer. I then mailed them to her and she would correct them and add or subtract others. The final changes were done over the phone and at the last minute I would have 160 copies made of the lists and bring them to the conference—arriving the night before so she could give out the room list to early arrivals. Of course quite a few people wanted changes made when they arrived and Graceanna lived up to her name and with much grace and patience worked hard to keep everyone happy. Graceanna and I did this for fourteen years until 2008 when the task was centralized.

For me Graceanna was always a happy and very kind person, full of love and laughter. She seemed to get such a kick out of life and Northfield was very special to her. She came once to a planning meeting in Arundel and stayed with my husband and I. We had such a good time with her that she invited us to spend a few days with her in Florida which we very happily did a year or so later. She was always a very reassuring and confirming presence at the Conference. I still miss her smile and happy laughter. A special lady. — Kay Flanagan

Faith Pendleton

Faith first stepped into the Northfield Conference in 1980 when she was 10 years old. She and her family were introduced to Northfield by Emily Mitchell, who brought many beloved members of our community to the Conference. Faith’s energy, enthusiasm and her deep love of Northfield was a gift that shone strongly for 17 years until her death in 1997 at the age of 27. Those who remember her, remember her bright smile and infectious laugh, her love of Families and the Northfield community. It was Northfield that encouraged her to become a lawyer; she had graduated from law school and landed her first job at a Boston law firm just before she died, leaving a huge hole in our community and our hearts.

In 1993, Faith wrote the following poem about Northfield, which was printed in the Grapevine

COMMUNITY
What a gift we have in each other
for it is through living together and loving each other that we discover and define our own selves.
It is when I hold your hand that I feel the contours of my own palm
when I embrace you that I wrap around my own arms
and when I hold you close that I feel my own heartbeat.

It is when I hear your story that I recognize my own
when I see your tears that I uncover my own sadness
and when I see your smile that I know my own joy.

It is when I worship with you that my spirit soars
when you share your faith that I define my own
and when your soul connects with mine that I know I am truly alive.

What a wonderful gift this little community is
for we are not perfect
but it is not in perfection that the great joy of life lies: it is in the journey.

And isn’t it amazing that we have found
so many people willing to walk this part of the journey together?
Time after time meeting on our sacred ground?

For we do not always hear each other,
but we are willing to listen
we do not always understand,
but we do question
and we do not always know but we desire to learn.

What more could we ask for?
Thank you Creator for your impeccable wisdom, and may this journey never end.

Bob Smith

Bob joined the Northfield community in 1976 with his wife, Julie, thanks to George and Maeve Blackman. At Northfield, Bob found permission to be his true self and felt completely accepted and supported in his personal growth. He loved music and was often seen with his accordion (and occasional beret!) in the evenings and Talent Show. In Julie’s words,”Northfield created a whole community for us, helped us open our hearts to each other and to the dear friends we have made. It has been such a rich experience in all respects, and now, without Bob, I feel the support and love of the many who knew and loved him.” Bob passed away in 2012 and his sweet smile and quiet manner will be with us always.

Kelly Soule

Kelly was a special presence at Northfield and while he only came a few years before his death in 2008, he loved every moment. He was brought to the conference by the Arundel Canadians and even attended Planning Meetings throughout the year. Northfield became his spiritual “home” where he found connection and peace. He is remembered for his authenticity and his poetry, which he enjoyed sharing at our Coffee Houses.